The Quangle Wangle's Hat Am Em On the top of the Crumpetty Tree Dm Am The Quangle Wangle sat, C Dm But his face you could not see, G E7 On account of his Beaver Hat. Am G For his hat was a hundred and two feet wide, C D With ribbons and bibbons on every side Dm Am And bells, and buttons, and loops, and lace, C G So that nobody ever could see the face E7 Of the Quangle Wangle Quee. The Quangle Wangle said To himself on the Crumpetty Tree,-- 'Jam; and jelly; and bread; 'Are the best food for me! 'But the longer I live on this Crumpetty Tree 'The plainer that ever it seems to me 'That very few people come this way 'And that life on the whole is far from gay!' Said the Quangle Wangle Quee. A Dm But there came to the Crumpetty Tree, A Dm Mr. and Mrs. Canary; C Dm And they said, -- 'Did you ever see E7 Am 'Any spot so charmingly airy? Dm Am 'May we build a nest on your lovely Hat? C G Mr. Quangle Wangle, grant us that! Dm Am 'O please let us come and build a nest C G 'Of whatever material suits you best, E7 'Mr. Quangle Wangle Quee!' And besides, to the Crumpetty Tree Came the Stork, the Duck, and the Owl; The Snail, and the Bumble-Bee, The Frog, and the Fimble Fowl; (The Fimble Fowl, with a Corkscrew leg;) And all of them said, -- We humbly beg, 'We may build our homes on your lovely Hat,-- 'Mr. Quangle Wangle, grant us that! 'Mr. Quangle Wangle Quee!' And the Golden Grouse came there, And the Pobble who has no toes,-- And the small Olympian bear,-- And the Dong with a luminous nose. And the Blue Babboon, who played the flute,-- And the Orient Calf from the Land of Tute,-- And the Attery Squash, and the Bisky Bat,-- All came and built on the lovely Hat Of the Quangle Wangle Quee. And the Quangle Wangle said To himself on the Crumpetty Tree,-- 'When all these creatures move 'What a wonderful noise there'll be!' And at night by the light of the Mulberry moon They danced to the flute of the Blue Babboon, On the broad green leaves of the Crumpetty Tree, And all were as happy as happy could be, With the Quangle Wangle Quee.

The Daddy Long-Legs and the Fly (Lear) Fmaj7-C Ebmaj7-Bb Once Mr. Daddy Long-legs, Fmaj7-C Ebmaj7-Bb Dressed in brown and gray, Dm7 Am7 Bb Am7 Walked about upon the sands Fmaj7-C Ebmaj7-Bb Upon a sumer's day; And there among the pebbles, When the wind was rather cold, He met with Mr. Floppy Fly, All dressed in blue and gold. And as it was too soon to dine, They drank some Periwinkle-wine, And played an hour or two, or more, At battlecock and shuttledore. Am7 Dm7 Said Mr. Daddy Long-legs Am7 Dm7 To Mr. Floppy Fly, C G 'Why do you never come to court? F G I wish you'd tell me why. Am7 Dm7 All gold and shine, in dress so fine, Am7 Dm7 You'd quite delight the court. C G Why do you never go at all? F Am7 I really think you ought! Bb C Dm7 And if you went, you'd see such sights! Am7 Dm7 Am7 Dm7 Such rugs! Such jugs! and candle-lights! Bb C Dm7 And more than all, the King and Queen, Bb C A7 One in red, and one in green!' 'O Mr. Daddy Long-legs,' Said Mr. Floppy Fly, 'It's true I never go to court, And I will tell you why. If I had six long legs like yours, At once I'd go to court! But oh! I can't, because my legs Are so extremely short. And I'm afraid the King and Queen (One in red, and one in green) Would say aloud, "You are not fit, You Fly, to come to court a bit!"' 'O Mr. Daddy Long-legs,' Said Mr. Floppy Fly, 'I wish you'd sing one little song! One mumbian melody! You used to sing so awful well In former days gone by, But now you never sing at all; I wish you'd tell me why: For if you would, the silvery sound Would please the shrimps and cockles round, And all the crabs would gladly come To hear you sing, "Ah, hum di Hum"!' Said Mr. Daddy Long-legs, 'I can never sing again! And if you wish, I'll tell you why, Although it gives me pain. For years I cannot hum a bit, Or sing the smallest song; And this the dreadful reason is, My legs are grown too long! My six long legs, all here and there, Oppress my bosom with despair; And if I stand, or lie, or sit, I cannot sing one little bit!' So Mr. Daddy Long-legs And Mr. Floppy Fly Sat down in silence by the sea, And gazed upon the sky. They said, 'This is a dreadful thing! The world has all gone wrong, Since one has legs too short by half, The other much too long! One never more can go to court, Because his legs have grown too short; The other cannot sing a song, Because his legs have grown too long!' D A Then Mr. Daddy Long-legs Bm E And Mr. Floppy Fly D A Rushed downward to the foamy sea C#7 With one sponge-taneous cry; F#m C#m And there they found a little boat, F#m C#m Whose sails were pink and gray; D A Bm And off they sailed among the waves, D A Bm Far, and far away. C#m F#m They sailed across the silent main, D A And reached the great Gromboolian plain; G D G D And there they play for evermore C G A7 At battlecock and shuttledoor. Fmaj7 = xx3555 C = x3555x Ebmaj7 = xx1333 Bb= x1333x

Poem by Edward Lear

The Duck and the Kangaroo (Edward Lear) G D C G Said the Duck to the Kangaroo, Bm Am D 'Good gracious! how you hop! C D Em G Over the fields and the water too, G Am D As if you never would stop! C D Em G My life is a bore in this nasty pond, Em D C G And I long to go out in the world beyond! G Am D I wish I could hop like you!' G D G Said the duck to the Kangaroo. 'Please give me a ride on your back!' Said the Duck to the Kangaroo. 'I would sit quite still, and say nothing but "Quack," The whole of the long day through! And we'd go to the Dee, and the Jelly Bo Lee, Over the land and over the sea;-- Please take me a ride! O do!' Said the Duck to the Kangaroo. C D Said the Kangaroo to the Duck, G D C D 'This requires some little reflection; D Em Perhaps on the whole it might bring me luck, G D C D And there seems but one objection, Am G Am Em Which is, if you'll let me speak so bold, Am C Dm G Your feet are unpleasantly wet and cold, Dm C G And would probably give me the roo- C G C Matiz!' said the Kangaroo. Said the Duck ,'As I sate on the rocks, I have thought over that completely, And I bought four pairs of worsted socks Which fit my web-feet neatly. And to keep out the cold I've bought a cloak, And every day a cigar I'll smoke, All to follow my own dear true Love of a Kangaroo!' Said the Kangaroo,'I'm ready! All in the moonlight pale; But to balance me well, dear Duck, sit steady! And quite at the end of my tail!' So away they went with a hop and a bound, And they hopped the whole world three times round; And who so happy, -- O who, As the duck and the Kangaroo?

Father William (Lewis Carrol) Intro: verse instrumental F#m C#m B A "You are old, father William," the young man said, F#m A C#m "And your hair has become very white; F#m C#m B A And yet you incessantly stand on your head — F#m A B7 Do you think, at your age, it is right?" G Bm C D "In my youth," father William replied to his son, Em G D "I feared it would injure the brain; G D C Bm But now that I'm perfectly sure I have none, C G Am Why, I do it again and again." "You are old," said the youth, "as I mentioned before, And have grown most uncommonly fat; Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door — Pray, what is the reason of that?" "In my youth," said the sage, as he shook his grey locks, "I kept all my limbs very supple By the use of this ointment — one shilling the box — Allow me to sell you a couple." F#m Bm F#m Bm "You are old," said the youth, "and your jaws are too weak A C#m F#m For anything tougher than suet; A Bm C#m D Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak — A F#m B7 Pray, how did you manage to do it?" C D G Em "In my youth," said his father, "I took to the law, Bm Em G A And argued each case with my wife; Bm F#m Bm F#m And the muscular strength, which it gave to my jaw, A Bm C#7 Has lasted the rest of my life." "You are old," said the youth; one would hardly suppose That your eye was as steady as ever; Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose — What made you so awfully clever?" "I have answered three questions, and that is enough," Said his father; "don't give yourself airs! Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff? Be off, or I'll kick you down stairs!" [end on A7] Verse 1 and 2 instrumental end on G

The Cummerbund (Edward Lear) An Indian Poem She sate upon her Dobie, To watch the Evening Star, And all the Punkahs as they passed, Cried, 'My! how fair you are!' Around her bower, with quivering leaves, The tall Kamsamahs grew, And Kitmutgars in wild festoons Hung down from Tchokis blue. Below her home the river rolled With soft meloobious sound, Where golden-finned Chuprassies swam, In myriads circling round. Above, on talles trees remote Green Ayahs perched alone, And all night long the Mussak moan'd Its melancholy tone. And where the purple Nullahs threw Their branches far and wide,-- And silvery Goreewallahs flew In silence, side by side,-- The little Bheesties' twittering cry Rose on the fragrant air, And oft the angry Jampan howled Deep in his hateful lair. She sate upon her Dobie,-- She heard the Nimmak hum,-- When all at once a cry arose,-- 'The Cummerbund is come!' In vain she fled: -- with open jaws The angry monster followed, And so, (before assistence came,) That Lady Fair was swallowed. They sought in vain for even a bone Respectfully to bury,-- They said, -- 'Hers was a dreadful fate!' (And Echo answered 'Very.') They nailed her Dobie to the wall, Where last her form was seen, And underneath they wrote these words, In yellow, blue, and green:-- Beware, ye Fair! Ye Fair, beware! Nor sit out late at night,-- Lest horrid Cummerbunds should come, And swallow you outright.

The Table and The Chair (Edward Lear) C F Said the Table to the Chair, C G 'You can hardly be aware, Dm Am 'How I suffer from the heat, Dm Am 'And from chilblains on my feet! C F 'If we took a little walk, C G 'We might have a little talk! Dm Am 'Pray let us take the air!' Dm Am Said the Table to the Chair. Bb C Said the Chair to the table, Dm G 'Now you know we are not able! Em Am 'How foolishly you talk, Em Am 'When you know we cannot walk!' Bb C Said the Table with a sigh, Dm G 'It can do no harm to try, Em Am 'I've as many legs as you, Dm G 'Why can't we walk on two?' So they both went slowly down, And walked about the town With a cheerful bumpy sound, As they toddled round and round. And everybody cried, As they hastened to the side, 'See! the Table and the Chair 'Have come out to take the air!' But in going down an alley, To a castle in a valley, They completely lost their way, And wandered all the day, Till, to see them safetly back, They paid a Ducky-quack, And a Beetle, and a Mouse, Who took them to their house. F C Then they whispered to each other, F Am 'O delightful little brother! Bb C 'What a lovely walk we've taken! F G 'Let us dine on Beans and Bacon!' Bb C So the Ducky and the leetle Dm G Browny-Mousy and the Beetle Em Am Dined and danced upon their heads Dm G Till they toddled to their beds.

Mr. and Mrs. Spikky Sparrow Bm G On a little piece of wood, C# F#m Mr. Spikky Sparrow stood; D A Mrs. Sparrow sate close by, Bm7 C#7 A-making of an insect pie, D A For her little children five, Bm7 C#7 In the nest and all alive, Bm7 E Singing with a cheerful smile F#m G To amuse them all the while, D A G A Twikky wikky wikky wee, Bm7 F#m G A Wikky bikky twikky tee, Bm7 F#m G Spikky bikky bee! Mrs. Spikky Sparrow said, 'Spikky, Darling! in my head 'Many thoughts of trouble come, 'Like to flies upon a plum! 'All last night, among the trees, 'I heard you cough, I heard you sneeze; 'And, thought I, it's come to that 'Because he does not wear a hat! 'Chippy wippy sikky tee! 'Bikky wikky tikky mee! 'Spikky chippy wee! Am D 'Not that you are growing old, G Am 'But the nights are growing cold. Em Bm7 'No one stays out all night long Em Bm7 'Without a hat: I'm sure it's wrong!' C G Mr. Spikky said 'How kind, D Am 'Dear! you are, to speak your mind! Em Am 'All your life I wish you luck! Em A 'You are! you are! a lovely duck! 'Witchy witchy witchy wee! 'Twitchy witchy witchy bee! Tikky tikky tee! 'I was also sad, and thinking, 'When one day I saw you winking, 'And I heard you sniffle-snuffle, 'And I saw your feathers ruffle; 'To myself I sadly said, 'She's neuralgia in her head! 'That dear head has nothing on it! 'Ought she not to wear a bonnet? 'Witchy kitchy kitchy wee? 'Spikky wikky mikky bee? 'Chippy wippy chee? 'Let us both fly up to town! 'There I'll buy you such a gown! 'Which, completely in the fashion, 'You shall tie a sky-blue sash on. 'And a pair of slippers neat, 'To fit your darling little feet, 'So that you will look and feel, 'Quite galloobious and genteel! 'Jikky wikky bikky see, 'Chicky bikky wikky bee, 'Twikky witchy wee!' So they both to London went, Alighting on the Monument, Whence they flew down swiftly -- pop, Into Moses' wholesale shop; There they bought a hat and bonnet, And a gown with spots upon it, A satin sash of Cloxam blue, And a pair of slippers too. Zikky wikky mikky bee, Witchy witchy mitchy kee, Sikky tikky wee. D F#m Then when so completely drest, G A Back they flew and reached their nest. Bm7 E Their children cried, 'O Ma and Pa! F#m C#7 'How truly beautiful you are!' D A Said they, 'We trust that cold or pain Bm7 C#7 'We shall never feel again! Bm7 E 'While, perched on tree, or house, or steeple, Bm7 C#7 'We now shall look like other people. 'Witchy witchy witchy wee, 'Twikky mikky bikky bee, Zikky sikky tee.'

A Boat beneath a Sunny Sky A BOAT beneath a sunny sky, Lingering onward dreamily In an evening of July -- Children three that nestle near, Eager eye and willing ear, Pleased a simple tale to hear -- Long has paled that sunny sky: Echoes fade and memories die: Autumn frosts have slain July. Still she haunts me, phantomwise, Alice moving under skies Never seen by waking eyes. Children yet, the tale to hear, Eager eye and willing ear, Lovingly shall nestle near. In a Wonderland they lie, Dreaming as the days go by, Dreaming as the summers die: Ever drifting down the stream -- Lingering in the golden dream -- Life, what is it but a dream?

The Lobster Quadrille (Carroll) E B F#m E “Will you walk a little faster?” said a whiting to a snail, A G#m F#m B “There’s a porpoise close behind us, and he’s treading on my tail. E B F#m E See how eagerly the lobsters and the turtles all advance! A G#m A B7 They are waiting on the shingle—will you come and join the dance? E F#m G#m A E A G#m F#m Will you, won’t you, will you, won’t you, will you join the dance? E F#m G#m A E A G#m F#m Will you, won’t you, will you, won’t you, won’t you join the dance? “You can really have no notion how delightful it will be When they take us up and throw us, with the lobsters, out to sea!" But the snail replied, “Too far, too far!” and gave a look askance— Said he thanked the whiting kindly, but he would not join the dance. Would not, could not, would not, could not, would not join the dance. Would not, could not, would not, could not, could not join the dance. “What matters it how far we go?” his scaly friend replied. “There is another shore, you know, upon the other side. The further off from England the nearer is to France— Then turn not pale, beloved snail, but come and join the dance. Will you, won’t you, will you, won’t you, will you join the dance? Will you, won’t you, will you, won’t you, won’t you join the dance?”

The Broom, the Shovel, the Poker and the Tongs [Edward Lear) Intro: Am Em x8 Am Em Dm Am The Broom and the Shovel, the Poker and the Tongs, Am G Am They all took a drive in the Park, Am Em Dm Am And they each sang a song, Ding-a-dong, Ding-a-dong, Am G Am Before they went back in the dark. Am C G Dm Mr. Poker he sate quite upright in the coach, C D E7 Mr. Tongs made a clatter and clash, Am C G Am Miss Shovel was all dressed in black (with a brooch), G F Am Mrs. Broom was in blue (with a sash). Am G Dm Am Ding-a-dong! Ding-a-dong! G F E7 And they all sang a song! 'O Shovel so lovely!' the Poker he sang, 'You have perfectly conquered my heart! 'Ding-a-dong! Ding-a-dong! If you're pleased with my song, 'I will feed you with cold apple tart! 'When you scrape up the coals with a delicate sound, 'You encapture my life with delight! 'Your nose is so shiny! your head is so round! 'And your shape is so slender and bright! 'Ding-a-dong! Ding-a-dong! 'Ain't you pleased with my song?' 'Alas! Mrs. Broom!' sighed the Tongs in his song, 'O is it because I'm so thin, 'And my legs are so long -- Ding-a-dong! Ding-a-dong! 'That you don't care about me a pin? 'Ah! fairest of creatures, when sweeping the room, 'Ah! why don't you heed my complaint! 'Must you needs be so cruel, you beautiful Broom, 'Because you are covered with paint? 'Ding-a-dong! Ding-a-dong! 'You are certainly wrong!' Mrs. Broom and Miss Shovel together they sang, 'What nonsense you're singing to-day!' Said the Shovel, 'I'll certainly hit you a bang!' Said the Broom, 'And I'll sweep you away!' So the Coachman drove homeward as fast as he could, Perceiving their anger with pain; But they put on the kettle and little by little, They all became happy again. Ding-a-dong! Ding-a-dong! There's an end of my song!

Calico Pie (Edward Lear) Am G Calico Pie, Am F The little Birds fly C Dm F Down to the calico tree, C G Their wings were blue, Dm F And they sang 'Tilly-loo!' C Dm Em Till away they flew,-- Am G C Em And they never came back to me! Dm G They never came back! Dm G They never came back! C Dm Em Dm They never came back to me! C G Dm Calico Jam, The little Fish swam, Over the syllabub sea, He took off his hat, To the Sole and the Sprat, And the Willeby-Wat,-- But he never came back to me! He never came back! He never came back! He never came back to me! Calico Ban, The little Mice ran, To be ready in time for tea, Flippity flup, They drank it all up, And danced in the cup,-- But they never came back to me! They never came back! They never came back! They never came back to me! Calico Drum, The Grasshoppers come, The Butterfly, Beetle, and Bee, Over the ground, Around and around, With a hop and a bound,-- But they never came back to me! They never came back! They never came back! They never came back to me!

Here is another poem by Edward Lear, taken from his 'Laughable Lyrics: A Fourth Book of Nonsense Poems, Songs, Botany, Music etc' (1877). The illustrations are drawn by Lear himself. The Pobble who has no toes Intro: C Em7 Am7 G C Em7 Am7 G The Pobble who has no toes C Em7 Am7 G Had once as many as we; C Em7 Am7 G When they said, 'Some day you may lose them all;'-- C Em7 Am7 G He replied, -- 'Fish fiddle de-dee!' F G And his Aunt Jobiska made him drink, Am D Lavender water tinged with pink, C Em7 Am7 G For she said, 'The World in general knows F G There's nothing so good for a Pobble's toes!' The Pobble who has no toes, Swam across the Bristol Channel; But before he set out he wrapped his nose, In a piece of scarlet flannel. For his Aunt Jobiska said, 'No harm 'Can come to his toes if his nose is warm; 'And it's perfectly known that a Pobble's toes 'Are safe, -- provided he minds his nose.' Em G The Pobble swam fast and well C D And when boats or ships came near him Em G He tinkedly-binkledy-winkled a bell C D So that all the world could hear him. Em Am And all the Sailors and Admirals cried, Em D When they saw him nearing the further side,-- C Em7 Am7 G 'He has gone to fish, for his Aunt Jobiska's F Em F G 'Runcible Cat with crimson whiskers!' But before he touched the shore, The shore of the Bristol Channel, A sea-green Porpoise carried away His wrapper of scarlet flannel. And when he came to observe his feet Formerly garnished with toes so neat His face at once became forlorn On perceiving that all his toes were gone! And nobody ever knew From that dark day to the present, Whoso had taken the Pobble's toes, In a manner so far from pleasant. Whether the shrimps or crawfish gray, Or crafty Mermaids stole them away -- Nobody knew; and nobody knows How the Pobble was robbed of his twice five toes! The Pobble who has no toes Was placed in a friendly Bark, And they rowed him back, and carried him up, To his Aunt Jobiska's Park. And she made him a feast at his earnest wish Of eggs and buttercups fried with fish;-- And she said,-- 'It's a fact the whole world knows, 'That Pobbles are happier without their toes.'

The Scroobious Pip [Edward Lear] Em Am The Scroobious Pip went out one day Em Am When the grass was green, and the sky was grey. Em Am Then all the beasts in the world came round Em Am When the Scroobious Pip sat down on the ground. Am Em The cat and the dog and the kangaroo Am Bm-C#7 The sheep and the cow and the guineapig too-- D A The wolf he howled, the horse he neighed Bm C#7 The little pig squeaked and the donkey brayed, D A And when the lion began to roar Bm F#m There never was heard such a noise before. A Bm And every beast he stood on the tip C#m D Of his toes to look a the Scroobious Pip. F#m Bm At last they said to the Fox - "By far, F#m Bm You're the wisest beast! You know you are! G D Go close to Scroobious Pip and say, Am Em Tell us all about yourself we pray- C G For as yet we can't make out in the least Am B7 If you're Fish or Insect, or Bird or Beast." Em Bm The Scroobious Pip looked vaguelyy round Em Bm And sang these words with a rumbling sound- Em G Chippetty Flip; Flippetty Chip;- Am B7 My only name is the Scroobious Pip. 2 The Scroobious Pip from the top of a tree Saw the distant Jellybolee,- And all the birds in the world came there, Flying in crowds all through the air. The Vulture and Eagle, the cock and the hen The Ostrich the Turkey the Snipe and the Wren; The Parrot chattered, the Blackbird sung And the owl looked wise bu held his tongue, And when the Peacock began to scream The hullabaloo was quite extreme. And every bird he fluttered the tip Of his wng as he stared at the Scroobious Pip. At last they said to the owl- "By far, You're the wisest Bird -- you know you are! Fly close to the Scroobious Pip and say, Explain all about yourself we paray- For as yet we have neither seen nor heard If you're fish or insect, beast or bird!" The Scroobious Pip looked gaily round And sang these words with a chirpy sound- Chippetty Flip; Flippetty Chip;- My only name is the Scroobious Pip. 3 The Scroobious Pip went into the sea By the beautiful shore of Jellybolee- All the fish in the world swam round With a splashing squashy spluttering sound. The sprat, the herring, the turbot too The shark, the sole and the mackerel blue, The flounder spluttered, the purpoise puffed ............................................................... And when the whale began to spout ............................................................... And every fish he shook the tip Of his tail as he gazed on the Scroobious Pip At last they said to the whale- "By far You're the biggest Fish - you know you are! Swim close to the Scroobious Pip and say- Tell us all about yourself we pray!- For to know you yourself is our only wish; Are you beast or insect, bird or fish?" The Scroobious Pip looked softly round And sung these words with a liquid sound- Pliffity Flip; Pliffety Flip;- My only name is the Scroobious Pip. 4 The scroobious Pip sat under a tree By the silent shores of the Jellybolee; All the insects in all the world About the Scroobious Pip entwirled. Beetles and with purple eyes Gnats and buzztilential flies- Grasshoppers, butterflies, spiders too, Wasps and bees and dragon-flies blue, And when the gnats began to hum bounced like a dismal drum, And every insect curled the tip Of his snout, and looked a the Scroobious Pip. At last the said to the Ant - "By far You're the wisest insect, you know you are! Creep close to the Scroobious Pip and say- Tell us all about yourself we pray, For we can't find out, and we can't tell why- If you're beast or fish or a bird or a fly." The Scroobious Pip turned quickly round And sang these words with a whistly sound Wizzeby wip - wizzeby wip-- My only name is the Scroobious Pip. 5 Em Bm Then all the beasts that walk on the ground Em Bm Danced in a circle round and round- Am Em And all the birds that fly in the air Am Em Flew round and round in a circle there, C G And all the fish in the Jellybolee Am B7 Swum in a circle about the sea, Em Bm And all the insects that creep or go Em Bm Buzzed in a circle to and fro. F#m Bm And they roared and sang and whistled and cried F#m Bm Till the noise was heard from side to side- Em G Chippetty tip! Chippetty tip! Am B7 It's only name is the Scroobious Pip. [from Teapots and Quails]

Cold are the Crabs (Edward Lear) Em G D Em Cold are the crabs that crawl on yonder hills, G D Am D Colder the cucumbers that grow beneath, G Am D And colder still the brazen chops that wreathe Em D C D Em The tedious gloom of philosophic pills! Em G D Em For when the tardy film of nectar fills G D Am D The simple bowls of demons and of men, G Am D There lurks the feeble mouse, the homely hen, Em D C D Em And there the porcupine with all her quills. G Em D Yet much remains - to weave a solemn strain Am C D Bm Em That lingering sadly - slowly dies away, Am Em D Daily departing with departing day Am C D Bm Am A pea-green gamut on a distant plain D Am C Bm When wily walrusses in congresses meet – C D Em Such such is life -

The Jumblies Intro: A=E=A D=E-A x2 A=E=A They went to sea in a Sieve, they did, D=E-A In a Sieve they went to sea: A=E=A In spite of all their friends could say, D=E=D=E On a winter's morn, on a stormy day, A=E=A In a Sieve they went to sea! F#m And when the Sieve turned round and round, D-E And every one cried, 'You'll all be drowned!' A=E=A=E They called aloud, 'Our Sieve ain't big, A=E=A=E But we don't care a button! we don't care a fig! A=E=A In a Sieve we'll go to sea!' F#m-A Far and few, far and few, D-E Are the lands where the Jumblies live; D=E=D=E Their heads are green, and their hands are blue, A=E=A And they went to sea in a Sieve. They sailed away in a Sieve, they did, In a Sieve they sailed so fast, With only a beautiful pea-green veil Tied with a riband by way of a sail, To a small tobacco-pipe mast; And every one said, who saw them go, 'O won't they be soon upset, you know! For the sky is dark, and the voyage is long, And happen what may, it's extremely wrong In a Sieve to sail so fast!' Far and few, far and few, Are the lands where the Jumblies live; Their heads are green, and their hands are blue, And they went to sea in a Sieve. The water it soon came in, it did, The water it soon came in; So to keep them dry, they wrapped their feet In a pinky paper all folded neat, And they fastened it down with a pin. And they passed the night in a crockery-jar, And each of them said, 'How wise we are! Though the sky be dark, and the voyage be long, Yet we never can think we were rash or wrong, While round in our Sieve we spin!' Far and few, far and few, Are the lands where the Jumblies live; Their heads are green, and their hands are blue, And they went to sea in a Sieve. And all night long they sailed away; And when the sun went down, They whistled and warbled a moony song To the echoing sound of a coppery gong, In the shade of the mountains brown. 'O Timballo! How happy we are, When we live in a Sieve and a crockery-jar, And all night long in the moonlight pale, We sail away with a pea-green sail, In the shade of the mountains brown!' Far and few, far and few, Are the lands where the Jumblies live; Their heads are green, and their hands are blue, And they went to sea in a Sieve. They sailed to the Western Sea, they did, To a land all covered with trees, And they bought an Owl, and a useful Cart, And a pound of Rice, and a Cranberry Tart, And a hive of silvery Bees. And they bought a Pig, and some green Jack-daws, And a lovely Monkey with lollipop paws, And forty bottles of Ring-Bo-Ree, And no end of Stilton Cheese. Far and few, far and few, Are the lands where the Jumblies live; Their heads are green, and their hands are blue, And they went to sea in a Sieve. And in twenty years they all came back, In twenty years or more, And every one said, 'How tall they've grown! For they've been to the Lakes, and the Torrible Zone, And the hills of the Chankly Bore!' And they drank their health, and gave them a feast Of dumplings made of beautiful yeast; And every one said, 'If we only live, We too will go to sea in a Sieve,--- To the hills of the Chankly Bore!' Far and few, far and few, Are the lands where the Jumblies live; Their heads are green, and their hands are blue, And they went to sea in a Sieve.

The Owl and the Pussycat (Edward Lear) Gm B The Owl and the Pussy-cat went to sea Cm Gm In a beautiful pea green boat, Gm Bb They took some honey, and plenty of money, Cm D7 Wrapped up in a five pound note. Gm Bb The Owl looked up to the stars above, Cm Eb And sang to a small guitar, Bb F 'O lovely Pussy! O Pussy my love, Cm Eb What a beautiful Pussy you are, Gm You are, Bb You are! Eb F Gm What a beautiful Pussy you are!' Pussy said to the Owl, 'You elegant fowl! How charmingly sweet you sing! O let us be married! too long we have tarried: But what shall we do for a ring?' They sailed away, for a year and a day, To the land where the Bong-tree grows And there in a wood a Piggy-wig stood With a ring at the end of his nose, His nose, His nose, With a ring at the end of his nose. 'Dear pig, are you willing to sell for one shilling Your ring?' Said the Piggy, 'I will.' So they took it away, and were married next day By the Turkey who lives on the hill. They dined on mince, and slices of quince, Which they ate with a runcible spoon; And hand in hand, on the edge of the sand, They danced by the light of the moon, The moon, The moon, They danced by the light of the moon.

Here is another of Lear's nonsense poems which I have set to music. It comes from: Nonsense Songs, Stories, Botany, and Alphabets. By Edward Lear. Originally published 1871 The pictures come from the Dharamsala area of Himachal Pradesh, Northern India. The Nutcrackers and the Sugar-Tongs (Edward Lear) Intro: C G F Am C G Dm C G F Am The Nutcrackers sate by a plate on the table, C G Dm The Sugar-tongs sate by a plate at his side; C G F Am And the Nutcrackers said, 'Don't you wish we were able C G Dm 'Along the blue hills and green meadows to ride? F C Dm Am 'Must we drag on this stupid existence for ever, C G Dm 'So idle so weary, so full of remorse,-- F C Dm Am 'While every one else takes his pleasure, and never C G Am 'Seems happy unless he is riding a horse? 'Don't you think we could ride without being instructed? 'Without any saddle, or bridle, or spur? 'Our legs are so long, and so aptly constructed, 'I'm sure that an accident could not occur. 'Let us all of a sudden hop down from the table, 'And hustle downstairs, and each jump on a horse! 'Shall we try? Shall we go! Do you think we are able?' The Sugar-tongs answered distinctly,'Of course!' Em Am Em Am So down the long staircase they hopped in a minute, Dm Am Dm E7 The Sugar-tongs snapped, and the Crackers said 'crack!' F G C Dm The stable was open, the horses were in it; F C Dm Each took out a pony, and jumped on his back. Em Am Em Am The Cat in a fright scrambled out of the doorway, Dm Am Dm E7 The Mice tumbled out of a bundle of hay, F G C Dm The brown and white Rats, and the black ones from Norway, F C Dm Screamed out, 'They are taking the horses away!' The whole of the household was filled with amazement, The Cups and the Saucers danced madly about, The Plates and the Dishes looked out of the casement, The Saltcellar stood on his head with a shout, The Spoons with a clatter looked out of the lattice, The Mustard-pot climbed up the Gooseberry Pies, The Soup-ladle peeped through a heap of Veal Patties, And squeaked with a ladle-like scream of surprise. The Frying-pan said, 'It's an awful delusion!' The Tea-kettle hissed and grew black in the face; And they all rushed downstairs in the wildest confusion, To see the great Nutcracker-Sugar-tong race. And out of the stable, with screamings and laughter, (Their ponies were cream-coloured, speckled with brown,) The Nutcrackers first, and the Sugar-tongs after, Rode all round the yard, and then all round the town. They rode through the street, and they rode by the station, They galloped away to the beautiful shore; In silence they rode, and 'made no observation', Save this: 'We will never go back any more!' And still you might hear, till they rode out of hearing, The Sugar-tongs snap, and the Crackers say 'crack!' Till far in the distance their forms disappearing, They faded away. -- And they never came back!

Mr. and Mrs. Discobbolos (Edward Lear) C G Am Em Mr. and Mrs. Discobbolos C G Am Climbed to the top of a wall. Em C G And they sate to watch the sunset sky Em C G And to hear the Nupiter Piffkin cry C G Am And the Biscuit Buffalo call. C D Em C They took up a roll and some Camomile tea, Em D C D And both were as happy as happy could be-- Em C G Till Mrs. Discobbolos said,-- Em C G 'Oh! W! X! Y! Z! 'It has just come into my head-- C D Em C 'Suppose we should happen to fall! ! ! ! ! G D C9 'Darling Mr. Discobbolos 'Suppose we should fall down flumpetty 'Just like pieces of stone! 'On the thorns, -- or into the moat! 'What would become of your new green coat 'And might you not break a bone? 'It never occurred to me before-- 'That perhaps we shall never go down any more!' And Mrs. Discobbolos said-- 'Oh! W! X! Y! Z! 'What put it into your head 'To climb up this wall? -- my own 'Darling Mr. Discobbolos?' Mr. Discobbolos answered,-- 'At first it gave me pain,-- 'And I felt my ears turn perfectly pink 'When your exclamation made me think 'We might never get down again! 'But now I believe it is wiser far 'To remain for ever just where we are.'-- And Mr. Discobbolos said, 'Oh! W! X! Y! Z! 'It has just come into my head-- '----- We shall never go down again-- 'Dearest Mrs. Discobbolos!' So Mr. and Mrs. Discobbolos Stood up and began to sing, 'Far away from hurry and strife 'Here we will pass the rest of life, 'Ding a dong, ding dong, ding! 'We want no knives nor forks nor chairs, 'No tables nor carpets nor household cares, 'From worry of life we've fled-- 'Oh! W! X! Y! Z! 'There is no more trouble ahead, 'Sorrow or any such thing-- 'For Mr. and Mrs. Discobbolos!'

Mr. and Mrs. Discobbolos (the second part) Bb Cm Bb Cm Mr. and Mrs. Discobbolos Bb Cm D7 Lived on the top of the wall,. Gm C D7 For twenty years, a month and a day, Gm F Eb Bb Till their hair had grown all pearly gray, Eb Bb Cm And their teeth began to fall. Dm F Gm F They never were ill, or at all dejected, Bb C Bb Dm By all admired, and by some respected, F C Dm Till Mrs. Discobbolos said, F C A7 'Oh! W! X! Y! Z! Bb F C 'It has just come into my head, Dm F Bb C 'We have no more room at all— Dm Eb Bb Cm 'Darling Mr. Discobbolos Look at our six fine boys! 'And our six sweet girls so fair! 'Upon this wall they have all been born, 'And not one of the twelve has happened to fall 'Through my maternal care! 'Surely they should not pass their lives 'Without any chance of husbands or wives!' And Mrs. Discobbolos said, 'Oh! W! X! Y! Z! 'Did it never come into your head 'That our lives must be lived elsewhere, 'Dearest Mr. Discobbolos? 'They have never been at a ball, 'Nor have ever seen a bazaar! 'Nor have heard folks say in a tone all hearty "What loves of girls (at a garden party) Those Misses Discobbolos are!" 'Morning and night it drives me wild 'To think of the fate of each darling child!' But Mr. Discobbolos said, 'Oh! W! X! Y! Z! 'What has come to your fiddledum head! 'What a runcible goose you are! 'Octopod Mrs. Discobbolos!' Suddenly Mr. Discobbolos Slid from the top of the wall; And beneath it he dug a dreadful trench, And fille it with dynamite, gunpowder gench, And aloud he began to call-- 'Let the wild bee sing, 'And the blue bird hum! 'For the end of our lives has certainly come!' And Mrs. Discobbolos said, 'Oh! W! X! Y! Z! 'We shall presently all be dead, 'On this ancient runcible wall, 'Terrible Mr. Discobbolos!' Pensively, Mr. Discobbolos Sat with his back to the wall; He lighted a match, and fired the train, And the mortified mountain echoed again To the sound of an awful fall! And all the Discobbolos family flew In thousands of bits to the sky so blue, And no one was left to have said, 'Oh! W! X! Y! Z! 'Has it come into anyone's head 'That the end has happened to all 'Of the whole of the Clan Discobbolos?'

The Scroobious Pip [Edward Lear] Em Am The Scroobious Pip went out one day Em Am When the grass was green, and the sky was grey. Em Am Then all the beasts in the world came round Em Am When the Scroobious Pip sat down on the ground. Am Em The cat and the dog and the kangaroo Am Bm-C#7 The sheep and the cow and the guineapig too-- D A The wolf he howled, the horse he neighed Bm C#7 The little pig squeaked and the donkey brayed, D A And when the lion began to roar Bm F#m There never was heard such a noise before. A Bm And every beast he stood on the tip C#m D Of his toes to look a the Scroobious Pip. F#m Bm At last they said to the Fox - "By far, F#m Bm You're the wisest beast! You know you are! G D Go close to Scroobious Pip and say, Am Em Tell us all about yourself we pray- C G For as yet we can't make out in the least Am B7 If you're Fish or Insect, or Bird or Beast." Em Bm The Scroobious Pip looked vaguelyy round Em Bm And sang these words with a rumbling sound- Em G Chippetty Flip; Flippetty Chip;- Am B7 My only name is the Scroobious Pip. 2 The Scroobious Pip from the top of a tree Saw the distant Jellybolee,- And all the birds in the world came there, Flying in crowds all through the air. The Vulture and Eagle, the cock and the hen The Ostrich the Turkey the Snipe and the Wren; The Parrot chattered, the Blackbird sung And the owl looked wise bu held his tongue, And when the Peacock began to scream The hullabaloo was quite extreme. And every bird he fluttered the tip Of his wng as he stared at the Scroobious Pip. At last they said to the owl- "By far, You're the wisest Bird -- you know you are! Fly close to the Scroobious Pip and say, Explain all about yourself we paray- For as yet we have neither seen nor heard If you're fish or insect, beast or bird!" The Scroobious Pip looked gaily round And sang these words with a chirpy sound- Chippetty Flip; Flippetty Chip;- My only name is the Scroobious Pip. 3 The Scroobious Pip went into the sea By the beautiful shore of Jellybolee- All the fish in the world swam round With a splashing squashy spluttering sound. The sprat, the herring, the turbot too The shark, the sole and the mackerel blue, The flounder spluttered, the purpoise puffed ............................................................... And when the whale began to spout ............................................................... And every fish he shook the tip Of his tail as he gazed on the Scroobious Pip At last they said to the whale- "By far You're the biggest Fish - you know you are! Swim close to the Scroobious Pip and say- Tell us all about yourself we pray!- For to know you yourself is our only wish; Are you beast or insect, bird or fish?" The Scroobious Pip looked softly round And sung these words with a liquid sound- Pliffity Flip; Pliffety Flip;- My only name is the Scroobious Pip. 4 The scroobious Pip sat under a tree By the silent shores of the Jellybolee; All the insects in all the world About the Scroobious Pip entwirled. Beetles and with purple eyes Gnats and buzztilential flies- Grasshoppers, butterflies, spiders too, Wasps and bees and dragon-flies blue, And when the gnats began to hum bounced like a dismal drum, And every insect curled the tip Of his snout, and looked a the Scroobious Pip. At last the said to the Ant - "By far You're the wisest insect, you know you are! Creep close to the Scroobious Pip and say- Tell us all about yourself we pray, For we can't find out, and we can't tell why- If you're beast or fish or a bird or a fly." The Scroobious Pip turned quickly round And sang these words with a whistly sound Wizzeby wip - wizzeby wip-- My only name is the Scroobious Pip. 5 Em Bm Then all the beasts that walk on the ground Em Bm Danced in a circle round and round- Am Em And all the birds that fly in the air Am Em Flew round and round in a circle there, C G And all the fish in the Jellybolee Am B7 Swum in a circle about the sea, Em Bm And all the insects that creep or go Em Bm Buzzed in a circle to and fro. F#m Bm And they roared and sang and whistled and cried F#m Bm Till the noise was heard from side to side- Em G Chippetty tip! Chippetty tip! Am B7 It's only name is the Scroobious Pip. [from Teapots and Quails]